a river full of all my lost loved ones

‍2026

hand-printed thermochromic ink and grand-format inkjet on vinyl, source drawings and writings, performance (voices, cello, French horn, percussion, and amp)

26 x 55.5 x 3 ft; each column 26 x 3 x 3 ft

a river full of all my lost loved ones is a public commission in which over 600 children's drawings and writings — made in response to workshop prompts about what they wish the world could see about them and what is too heavy to explain — become 26-foot scenes covering the neoclassical columns of the Hippodrome, as well as the language of the project's song cycle. For many of the participating children, the Hippodrome, once a federal courthouse and now a theater in the center of downtown Gainesville, serves as a queer sanctuary. Portions of the scenes, printed in thermochromic ink, vanish during the hot hours and reappear as the evening cool arrives. The project opened with a song cycle — ten songs and four improvisational games — composed with Colin Self and performed by a choir assembled from the community, with the children's writings adopted as found-text lyrics. Together, we ask what it takes to hold sanctuary for children who already see and grieve what is being taken from them, and how, in the meantime, appearing and receding on one's own terms, given the treacheries and pleasures of visibility under a hostile political climate, might be the closest thing we have to public sanctuary.

source drawings and writings by children in the Hippodrome's programs

music composition and choreography with Colin Self; performances by Nailah Clarke, Quil Darling, Ang DeCarlis, Phia Derias, Robert Edmondson, Mattia Imponenti, Bionca Darby Kleinberg, Madelyn Moyer, Kara Smith, Abe Sulin, and Sarah Wester

sound engineering by Ericson Frank; videography by Abigail Clark and Jojo Smith; special thanks to Gabrielle Byam, Jesse Martin, Steven Head, Dave Peck, Elizabeth Nesbit, Christopher Bailey, Don Russell, Jade Bennett, and the many, many children who contributed drawings and writings

Over the summer, workshops with children in the Hippodrome's programs asked them to draw and write about what it feels like to feel safe, what they wish the world could see about them, what they carry that is too heavy to explain, and more. They produced over 600 drawings.

a river full of all my lost loved ones is a public project that converts the Hippodrome's six monumental columns into 26-foot-tall scenes that combine and transform the children's drawings: crowded waiting rooms that open onto vast landscapes, patterns that tilt into tightropes that characters ride, a tower that stands in a moat full of unlikely loungers. Portions of the scenes are printed in thermochromic ink, which disappears as the heat of the day arrives and returns as the air cools. In the Hippodrome's lobby sit two binders full of the children's source drawings.

Titled after a line written on the back of one child's drawing, a river full of all my lost loved ones opens with a song cycle that treats the children's writings as lyrics, developed with composer Colin Self and performed live by Nailah Clarke, Quil Darling, Ang DeCarlis, Phia Derias, Robert Edmondson, Mattia Imponenti, Bionca Darby Kleinberg, Madi Moyer, Kara Smith, Abe Sulin, and Sarah Wester.